A Mom’s Confessions

Recently, one of my favorite people in the world mentioned that reading other moms’ blogs makes her feel as though everyone except her has this mothering-thing all figured out. I seriously doubt that any of us really feels confident in this area, certainly not me. But who after a long rollercoaster day of mothering wants to blog about all of their parenting shortcomings? So in an effort to be authentic, here is just that. . . MY UGLY LIST – the areas I am growing in and struggling with as a mom. If you can relate, I welcome you to cast out your pearls of wisdom, or better yet share your own struggles. We are all in this together!

1. I have used paper/plastic ware at every dinner since Julianna was born. GASP!! I’m counting on my crazy friends who are using cloth diapers to make up for the damage I’m doing to mother earth.
2. I clean too much and play too little. As if I wasn’t aware of this, the 3-year old recently pointed it out to me. Nevertheless, despite the cleaning, a pile of clean, yet unfolded, laundry lives in my den. In fact, when playing “dollhouse” I feel compelled to tidy-up the dollhouse rather than actually play. Oddly satisfying for me; not super fun for the kid.
3. I have been known to be so focused on getting a great picture of the fun event, that I completely miss out on the fun event.
   It’s like I’m documenting my lack of fun.
   
4. The crafts are really for me. My motivation for doing all of our art projects is somewhat selfish. Yes, I do think that they are great for my child’s development, and she does enjoy them, but it is what I enjoy. (In my defense on this one: One of my very wise friends recently gave me freedom in this area by telling me that it was OK for me connect with my child by doing the activities that I prefer – in my case books, nature stuff, and art (as long as she enjoys them as well, of course). If I despise playing “little people” then I can opt out of that game and save that as something she can play by herself or with her friends.)
   
5. I have said too much. More than once, I have spoken to another mom about my child’s own personal struggles while my child was in listening range. It broke my heart to see an expression of embarrassment on Annie’s sweet little face.
   
6. I’ve been caught rushing through bedtime songs.
   As my penance, I’m forced to start over.
   
7. We buy her too much stuff. Sure it came from the dollar store, but that doesn’t mean anything to her. She just knows it is a new thing. Too much stuff creates an unthankful heart.
   

That’s just the tip of the iceberg . . . but you get the picture.

The Artful Parent

I have a new friend (although it is a VERY one-sided relationship). Her name is Jean, and she has this blog. It features two of my FAVORITE topics – kid’s art projects and children’s books. Unlike me, she actually knows a lot about art and even teaches a few preschool-age classes. I’m so glad she is willing to share these amazing ideas with the rest of the world. Annelise and I have enjoyed doing her projects ourselves. Today we painted with marbles, as you can see below. Hope you enjoy!

While we are on the subject of craftiness, check out the cake I made this weekend. It’s a teddy graham pool party. Putting bikinis on the bears was oddly enjoyable! Ten points if you can find the bear with the thong?

Just Thought I’d Share

To be honest, connecting with other women has not come easy for me. I think this is likely a common issue for women because we are juggling so many things that it leaves little time for building meaningful relationships. This is unfortunate because we all need each other so very much. Some of my bad habits began when Annelise was born, and I was still finishing grad school. When I was at home, my time with her and Chris was so precious to me that I couldn’t bear to slip away for some time with other ladies. Now I am hardly ever at work, but building or rebuilding relationships can still be a challenge at times. My biggest issue. . . I don’t have much to say most of the time. Sure I have my chatty moments and topics that can get me fired up, but that’s not really the norm for me. I’m OK with silence. I sometimes fear that this can be perceived as being shallow, judgmental, snobby, or uninterested, so if I have ever given any of you dear friends this impression, please forgive me. It is not my heart at all. I truly love people; I’m just more of a thinker than a talker. I deeply hope that someday that I can have my friend Kathleen’s amazing gift of conversation, for she truly knows just what to say or ask, but for now, this is me. I like to listen; I like to observe; I have a lot of thoughts in my head. So let’s hang out more often, but if I’m a bit quiet . . . “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Backyard Updates

Remember when I shared my concerns that Chris and Annelise might get bored with all of their extra time together this summer. What was I thinking? Forget going to sprinkler parks, they decided to BUILD a sprinkler park (I’m sure Chris will blog about the building details at some point). Annelise had a great time tinkering in the garage with her daddy, and I know Chris had a great time too. Over the past 8 years of my marriage I have learned that these types of projects are therapy to my husband’s soul, so he was practically giddy when the water started to flow. If you are reading this, consider yourself invited – a sprinkler park in your own backyard is fun, but much more fun when you have a friend to share it with. Just give us a call and head on over.

So we had some friends come splash with us.

Did I mention he also found time to build a purgula? This man is out of control.

My nephew, Cade, joined us for a swim.

A Pictorial Review of June

Annelise had her very first dance recital. I had waited for this moment since the day she was placed in my arms.

Julianna is almost 4 months and getting chunkier. She is nearly always happy- even when she is mad she can’t help but smile when she catches your eye. She likes to make little singing noises and already can roll around wherever she wants to go – I’m not so happy about this.

Drew was baptized. I am such a proud aunt! What a wonderful big cousin for my girls.

Our Littlest Sweetheart

Here are a few new pictures of Julianna. I love kissing those sweet little cheeks.

Some Crafty Fun

OK, I’m a kid at heart when it comes to doing little craft projects. Certainly I enjoy “big girl” crafts like sewing or refinishing furniture, but I also love, love, love doing preschool art projects. Recently, I received a book on creative art experiences for children – a source of much fun on hot summer afternoons when we need to stay inside and cool off. I thought I’d share some of our favorites – we’d love to try yours if you don’t mind sharing.

1. Sprinkle dots – Make confetti with different colored paper and a hole punch. Brush some glue (thinned with water) on the paper. Sprinkle the dots and brush with more glue.
2. Tissue – Brush thinned glue on the paper. Tear pieces of colored tissue paper and place on the glue. Cover with more glue. You can use the colored tissue to make abstract art, or make pictures.
3. Crayon Rubbing – tape many items (coins, comb, envelope, paperclip, rubber band, leaf. . .) on the table and cover with a big piece of paper (taped down). Rub the paper with a long side of a crayon guess what the hidden mystery items are.
4. Scribble cookies – save stub ends of old crayons. Peel and break crayons into pieces and put into a foil lined muffin tin. Place in a warm oven (turned off) until the crayons look squishy but not liquid. Cool and pop out.
5. Mystery painting – This is Annelise’s favorite. Take a white piece of paper and draw a picture or write words with a white crayon. Let your child pain with watercolors to reveal the hidden drawing.
6. Paper towel dipping – Dilute tempera paint in water. Set out each color in its own cup. Fold up a paper towel into a tiny square and dip the corners in the paint. Unfold and let dry.
7. Painting – Try using some different items to paint in a new way. A toy car can drive through the paint, or a straw can be used to blow a dollop of paint around. We even tried painting with flowers, leaves and sticks instead of brushes.

Happy Crafting!

Kid Flick Reviews

How many of you have seen a movie ad and thought, “Gee, my kid would love that.” You get the movie and as you preview it first, find yourself completely disgusted that moviemakers would stick such awful content in a kids show. Rated G or PG cannot be trusted!! Last month I taped one of the Beethoven movies (remember the big dog) as it came on Disney thinking that Annelise LOVES dogs and it should be a harmless kid show. No such luck. In the first 5 minutes, the mom was in front of the mirror complaining that she was fat and the dad was portrayed as an idiot and the kids were completely disrespectful. After I deleted that movie, I found this website www.kids-in-mind.com. I loved it so much that I had to share. It points out ANY sexuality, gore, or profanity, and really helps you see the movie through the eyes of your child. The Bee movie has numerous references to making out, hot babes and so forth – what is my little girl going to take away from this film (and don’t say that it all goes over their heads, because I think kids are much smarter than that). The chipmunks movie features characters gawking at women’s cleavage and so forth. It amazed me how much sexuality is slipped into movies targeted at young children – no wonder little boys are thinking sexually at such young ages these days and little girls are hyperconcerned with body image. If the movie characters can find their way into my kids happy meal, then is it too much to ask that the movie be free of sexual references. I realize that nearly all movies have their issues, but some are more blatant than others. I hope the website helps you find some really great movies for your kids to watch – it has for us.

Wanted: Ideas for the Daddy

Only a few more days until Chris is done with the school year – marking the official start of the Nilsson summer! I think I can speak for Chris and say that he is both excited about having more time with his girls and nervous about having so much time with his girls. I don’t go to work but a few days of the week, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays I am out of the house for 11 hours. That is a LONG time in daddy hours. While Annelise and I LOVE to have friends come over for play dates on days that I am home, this won’t really work on daddy-days. So. . . Chris has given me the assignment of coming up with ideas for excursions that can break up the day and keep him and the kids sane and excited about this special time together. While I’m sure there will be a few museum trips, not every activity can cost money, or this will add up to be one expensive summer. Friends, help a daddy out! I know you know how to stretch a buck and whip up some preschooler entertainment – pass those on. These are my ideas so far:

1. Chuck-E-Cheese: A few dollars worth of tokens means BIG fun.
2. Library Story time: a story, puppet show and a craft – perfect!
3. Barnes and Noble: Chris’ favorite. He can read, she can read and play with the giant train set
4. Fire Station Tour: Why not, it’s FREE!
5. Boagni House: Sorry Kacey, Chris probably won’t wait for an invitation. So if you see a weary Chris at your doorstep, just let him steal some minutes on your couch while Annie plays with her favorite girl cousins.
6. Sprinkler Park: Fun, Fun, Fun!
7. Chick-Fil-A or McDonald’s playground: Because the park is way too hot!!!
8. Free one time trials at The Little Gym (or such): No, we really are not above this.

The Possum Story

Last month I had one VERY interesting and enlightening morning. It began like all other mornings, Annelise snuggled on the couch watching Curious George, Julianna asleep in her bassinet, and me in the kitchen whisking a bowl of pancake batter for Annelise’s breakfast. I looked up to ask Annelise a question, I saw IT. . . on my back patio. . . fithy and disgusting. . . a possum! In a moment of great motherly control, I screemed. As I remember it, she just sat there with two nasty little possum babies clinging onto her back looking in the sliding glass window at me as if to say “Lady, what’s YOUR problem.” Of course, Annelise starts freaking out due to my hysterics, so then I retract the freaking out and in the calmest, happiest voice I can muster I say, “Oh, look Annie a poor mommy possum is lost in our yard.” She is THRILLED – as if the Zoo came to visit!

Next, I’m dialing Chris who gives me the number to Animal Control (could have gotten it quicker if I had called Christina). I explain to the nice man that a disgusting momma possum and her disgusting little babies have wondered into my yard and ask if he could please come get them and take them back to their home in the woods. He kindly agreed to help and said they’d come ASAP. We waited for a couple of hours for Animal Control to arrive, but in the meantime Annelise won’t leave the window. She watches its every move. She even says the babies are cute. “Let’s name her,” she says. I’m NOT liking this. “I’m going to name her Marlo,” Annelise says. “And the babies are Lenny and Sarah.” “Fine,” I say. But then she changes her mind and wants to name Marlo “I love you.” “No way!” I say. “For one, ‘I love you’ is not a name, and two, we DON’T love possums.” From then on I am forced to refer to her as Marlo, but Annelise calls her “Marlo, the possum that I wanted to name ‘I love you’.

Then something really strange happened. There I am pacing the floor with a crying newborn when I realize that this momma possum and I have much in common. I’m tired from being up at odd hours of the night with my little one. She (being nocturnal) is looking quite tired from pacing my yard with her little ones when all she really wants to do is sleep. For all I know, our babies have the same birthday. Yikes, I’m feeling comradery with a possum!

There’s a knock at the door. . . Animal Control. I take the man to my backyard, but Marlo is not there. “She must have gone home,” I say. The man looks at me as if I fell out of a tree, “Miss, you do know that it LIVES in your yard.” WHAT!!?! It’s as if he told me that there is life on Mars. He then proceeds to show me that she is curled up in her nest behind the garden shed sleeping soundly. OMG! The possum is NOT lost; it lives here. Annelise is ecstatic! She insists that its last name MUST be Nilsson. Now I am forced to call it Marlo Nilsson (very funny since my mother-in-law is Margo Nilsson). I am told that Marlo has probably lived here for years. The officer offers to bring me a trap to catch Marlo – I think that is a great idea.

Long story short. . . we caught Marlo. However, I never could see the babies in the trap. The Animal Control officer insisted that Lenny and Sarah must be in her pouch so no worries, but the next day Chris brings me to the window to show me a sad, lost little baby possum wondering my yard looking for its mommy. Now as I am nursing my baby I’m feeling REALLY guilty about this little baby rodent that has no food because I took away its mommy. My crazy hormones are not making this easy. We have never seen the baby again. Chris likes to rub it in by telling me that an owl probably ate it.

The next week, my we got a package in the mail from my mother-in-law. As I helped Annelise open the box I saw this nasty tail sticking out. Yes, it was a stuffed possum. People, I couldn’t even touch it. Needless to say, Annelise LOVES it and even sleeps with Marlo every night.

Annelise reenacts my reaction to the possum.

Marlo Nilsson

Annelise with her new favorite stuffed animal.